Okay. I know you are waiting for how the box crawl went. It went something like this...
3:44 a.m. my eyes popped open -- wide. I just laid in bed and prayed; 4:45 a.m. the alarm went off.... I ate eggs and a banana. Water and not as much coffee as usual. Popped all my vitamins and laughed at infomercials and the HSN host. Poor guy, he got excited over some pretty interesting things. Sat around with the hubby, read Psalms and went to shower. Hugged Rick and he said you will do fine. NO worries, you are working on your physical, you studied, prayed, he will let you know if you are doing wrong. OUT the door I went.
On the way to 616 to stretch I was dealing with construction and fighting the fat Jen within who kept saying, 'um just call Brian and say that you're sick.' Obviously, that didn't happen. I was the first to arrive.
While stretching we were having fun, joking, and laughing; things that help me overcome fear and preventing a mild panic attack! No lie. That is why I joke about my weight. I am very uncomfortable about it. But we discussed this - it's not cool or healthy -- right? We laughed and I really wish I knew that Tom was looking to wear leopard spandex to represent 616...I would have looked for some. So it was Brian, Stacie, Jon, Mike, Cori, Tom, Vince, Mark, Corey, Tammy, and myself.
We head to Crossfit Grand Rapids. Walking to the building my stomach was crawling up into my throat. I wanted to just turn on my heels and be gone. poof, I was never there, sad, but I had 7 of the people with me. SO, I had to keep going. I was praying, Father, please, please, please, help me. What did I get in to? I am telling you. NONE of them would have let me leave at this point anyways! Kelly was there waiting. I just adore her. When I see her I wanna hug her and run the other way all at the same time. Yeah....it's so like that. I met some people while there waiting around. I can't compliment the amazing CrossFit community of Grand Rapids enough. :)
This is how it went. There are 4-heats, within the heats are 9-10 people. I was in heat 4. So, heat 4 had to judge/score for heat 1. Easy. :) I judged Tom all day long. SO, I got to yell at a coach. SCORE. LOL I so love yellin at people. Remember, what you yell at me and tell me, I am so doing it back. Cause I have me a nice file cabinet called 'pushes'...game on. ha!
So the WOD was....
25 pistols with assistance 40
25 toes to bar
Okay, I will tell you what I did, then tell you how I yelled at Tom -- cause that was the funnest part of the day. I didn't yell at Tom a lot the first WOD, sorry Tom! My bad, I was a wee-bit nervous.
I did the 40 pistols assisted -- OKAY, a lot assisted. Double unders, I am not able to do them yet, but they are on my goal list. Toes to bar -- are a joke, but I did hang from the bar! SO, that is a step. I have no idea what I did, but I did those and some sit-ups, then about 2 jumps for the jump rope. eh. Crawl under a rock by now? Yeah, I did..I wanted to.
Off to 616, this WOD scared the daylights out of me....
8 min AMRAP
Run 100 yards
50 air squats
run 100 yards
run 100 yards
run 100 yards
25 jumping lunges
YES...told ya. I am sure I gave Brian the normal I really am not happy with that look.
Before that I talked with a gentlemen who went to the Regional CrossFit Games and qualifies for the next level. Awesome guy. He told me he was glad to see me working out, not standing on the sidelines, actually doing something about my situation and asked why I am doing it. I told him for my 20-year reunion, which is only the back 2% of the real reason why...but its the quick answer. I mean... my dad died of diabetes just 2-years ago, I had gestational diabetes 3 out of 4 pregnancies and research shows diabetes comes 3-5 years after the baby is born -- she is 2.5 years old. I was feeling that icky feeling -- I know that feeling. NO. I REFUSE it. Giving yourself shots 3 times a day, checking your sugar 3 times a day, not cool. I had quiet a few people tell me throughout the day that they admire me doing it and look up to me for doing it, that there need to be more people like me in the boxes. I honestly felt awesome. I couldn't have done this without the strength I sought from the Father in heaven, first and foremost, then my awesome coaches. You guys/gal, what you are doing for me is what I have been looking for for a while. *tears/sob -- thank you...I am so excited about the upcoming months!*
Okay, so, I yelled at Tom to do his WOD. Fun stuff there. He is a machine, doesn't need a lot, but I could tell he was getting tired. So, as they tell me during burpees let gravity help you... HA HA HA.
My turn after the other two heats. I ran my 100 yards, came in did my 50 air squats, went to run, hello jello! LOL I walked til I could get them legs back. Came back in, Kelly and another gentlemen put me by the fan, oy. I am sorry to the people by the fan. I just know I had three people I could register in my brain telling how to do it, keep going, you got this. That is all my brain could register. Kelly walked with me after 15. I just couldn't do it any more. Burpees are NOT my friend peeps. She told me to breath deep, I wanted to lay down and quit. Got inside started situps, not sure how many. Time was up. I will take it people. I will! I am what 17 visits at the box and I did this. sweet.
Onto 8th Day Gym, we drive by there all the time, once a day, at least. Nice place. By this time, I was so tired.
run down the road to the lower level
run back up the road to the upper level
Tom, asked that I not let him drop it...and I yelled at him, don't drop it. GO GO GO, up and down, up and down. HA HA HA...
I ended up walking up and down the stairs. Overhead squats for the bar, which weighs 45 lbs and cleans were 65 lbs, no clue how many of each rep. Brian judged me for that. I seriously was standing there trying to figure out how to get out of it.
Then Kelly asked me to overhead squat with the pipe I was using prior to the WOD.....I was given an offer that I have to consider. It's a pretty big opportunity. Huge. I have told a few people about it and those closest to me. I am pondering it. Let's put it this way. Kelly and her boyfriend are national weightlifters....use your imagination.
The first time I deadlifted I got 225 lbs up. That was what visit 5....I am curious what it is now. I am strong...no seriously...I am.
ANYWAYS. On the way home, it all hit me hard. I sobbed, cried. Hard. I could now. I don't know....it was a good cry, it wasn't a bad cry. It's like I lost a part of me ...a bad part of me. Like a wall fell. Like I crashed a wall down. I woke up at 2:00 a.m. in tears...in my sleep. Anyone who is overweight will know what I am about to say.
We have walls around us, when we let people in, we get hurt....bad. People talk bad about us to our faces, via texts to other people -- our other friends, even behind our backs more times than not. It happened to me just recently, by someone who doesn't know that I know. But yesterday, I came across a group of people who truly care, who admire my hard work and don't judge me for working on my poor physical condition. Which is from my sin or my past sins. The people don't know how I believe. I don't go there to teach, I go to work on my physical, my very poor, unhealthy physical state. People are so quick to judge within the friends that I have now, I see it more times than not.
I have a sense of relief. People who really care. I mean honestly. They don't care how I believe, they know how I feel and want to help me get to where I need to go for my physical aspect. I am there to give it my all. *tearing up again* I feel that I am so full of sin that I need to shed this fat shell. That I have a lot of mental pinned up anger, disappointment, sadness that I need to release before I can get to where I need to be. It's just being honest.
I work hard on my salvation and physical being. Mental is a huge part of this as well and I have so much baggage...I think I dumped a couple of cases yesterday. see ya. be gone. I am not the Jennifer who feels sorry for herself, who keeps trying to try out for a tv show. My friends get a show just from knowing me. Cause my kids and myself, we are our own sitcom. Pfft, just put a cam up in our house -- hours of amusement!
Anyways, do I hurt...oo YOU know it! I can say I think it all hurts!
I need to get off this computer and push tons of water and help clean the garage. Yes, I am going to workout tomorrow. :) What are you doin? Are you sitting there mocking people for working out? Are you laughing at people bigger than you who are working out while you blot on lip gloss or flex your muscles in the mirror? Let's stop and all help someone.
Try something new. Step OUT of that comfort zone!!!! We are NOT met to live in this little box. It's not much fun.
Until tomorrow!!!! Peace, hugs, stretch some, move a little, and get some work done! Do something for your physical heart! :)