Friday, June 15, 2012

no more and sorry!

Okay. I need to apologize. I was nervous, freaked-out yesterday. Today is a new day....for sure.

Crossfitters are awesome, as are my true friends both.helping me get my head back on straight. I have to see where I am to get to where I want to be. Good health and physically fitter than today! It takes time and its never an over night type deal.

No more negative self talk. If you see/hear me do it...check me then and there. It's a bad thing to learn and none of you deserve to read my negative thoughts. I would feel awful if you felt that way about yourself and would definitely check you.  As funny as they may seem at the time, they aren't very healthy. It's harmful and dangerous to goals, to yourself and the people around you.. I can no longer joke about my size as that isn't my size any more!!!! I refuse it. That doesn't define me.  This is NOT who I am NOR want to be.

We had some dear people over for last night for dinner. In our talking, we talked about me working with my dad baling hay, cutting, throwing, stacking wood-- yes, with an ax and a hydrolic splitter, my dad was in the construction business and yes, I worked with him more than you all know. So, if you see me looking around at any place, it's what my dad taught me, to pick out what needs to be fixed within a building so it becomes a better building.  It's sad but true, drives me nuts, it's like its in my blood.  HA!  As he used to say, "Griffin's don't lay down, we stand and fight."  *bowing head, sucking it up -- Here I go -- holding head back up....I'm in, signed up, and doing it, to the best of my ability and that is all I can do.*  I won't lay down, I will stand up and fight for good health....I won't die of diabetes.  I won't cry, whine and complain.  I will shiver inside of my own skin to only make myself drop jaw at accomplishments.  :) 

My dad didn't put up with much when we would work, sure we would laugh here and there; but it was always work hard and play harder. I will be putting that into my working out..... cause this is it. We get one shot! I have other reasons. So... no more wah junk, my dad raised me to be a strong woman....I am one and will be even stronger.

This weight loss journey, as with anyone else's has layers both good and bad.....maybe some ugly as well. That is where family and friends will be needed. I will succeed this time. Without any gimmicks of overnight success.  Will I fall and smack my face? Probably because of missing a box. Will I cry?  HA, more than likely. But I will pick myself up and move on.  YES!  

So.....  Here is to a new day!!!  Make it a great one!

Today is pushing tons of water, eating as clean as I can manage, get some good food for the box crawl.  (the words still make butterflies go all nutso in my tummy!!!)  *peace out!!*

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