So, I have been thinking a lot lately.  Doing self-examinations, measurements, etc.  I will say this!  That the scale, even though I had a love affair with it every morning and sometimes in the afternoon, is pure evil.  I can't believe that for so many years I have relied on those numbers.  It is such an unhealthy, yet healthy way of measuring your weight. 
  


I am happy to say that I am down 10.75 inches, my oldest and I are trying to figure out if the measurements are from 2 weeks, which is what she thinks and I think they were from 3 weeks prior.  So, I wrote the date down next to last Thursday afternoon measurements; just to be safe.  

Then my self-examinations of trying on size 18/20 tops and they fit, but not  18 bottoms; realizing that my upper is losing faster than my bottom....WHY!?  UGH, I have to know that it will catch up and my bottom is big....was big, but its smaller, eh, you get the point.   I am realizing that I am losing.  In looking at the mirror, when I had my size 18/20 bathing suit on -- I won't go into details, no one needs night mares.  I was so upset.  I was upset that I let myself get the way I was.  I was urked that no one had the guts, decency to tell me that they were concerned for my health.  Where is the love!?  I was mad that now I have all these shrinking stretch marks that are ugly as all get out.  Then we had fish, asparagus, and cut up veggies for dinner, looking around the table I realized why I started on this journey....that I love my family.  I am glad that I realized I messed up, reached out and started losing...so anyways!!!   I have a shirt that I am wearing that was SUPER tight.  Today, my kids all noticed that it is big and did a drop jaw look at me.  It is big.  :) 

Stretch marks are there, I am sure that I can find someone that won't want to look at them all the time and help me pay to get them removed.  But....who knows.  Right now I am not concerned with stretch marks.  They are there, I guess as a reminder.  (as I have read someone's blog -- can't remember whom, and she said they are a reminder and I love that idea.)  A reminder of whom I was, they don't define me and make me who I am now.    Just know that stretch marks are there.....maybe they will go away, maybe not.  Right now I want to be sure my legs don't look like hell.  I kid you not, I could either make you laugh or cry with my description of myself;  it's sad that  I can criticize myself in such a harsh way.  I am sure that is unhealthy too.  But I didn't do it!

Workout for Monday, September 10
Warmup
Run 400
3 Rounds
10 Pushups
10 Situps
10 Squats

Strength
Strict Press
10@60%
8@70%
6@75%
4@80%

WOD
3 Rounds for Time
10 L Pullups
20 Double Unders
30 Air Squats

60% was 56 lbs
70% was 65 lbs -- big jump in weight there, just sayin.
75% was 71 lbs -- It was supposed to be 69.75....but....did 71
80% was 76 lbs -- 74.4 was supposed to be my 80 percent.  Meaning...I am getting stronger every couple of weeks!  SIgh..I am gonna have some major guns.

I did the 3 rounds for time...13 minutes and something seconds. I can't do L pull ups, Shoot I can't do pull ups..can't do double unders....  smh. What is wrong with me!?  I can squat though...so I guess 1/3 isn't so bad.  Of course, Brian thinks that fat people like to bounce...do 50 double unders, he says...yeah...you know me.  *Death stare*  I did 50 jumps the first round, then I have no idea what happened the last two rounds. 

I just wish I could get the double unders....I need to practice...obviously....a lot.  

Then my second oldest does a box jump up on the cement stairs this morning.  I will have to post a pic....It looked nasty!

So, I have to go.....  Have a great day and for crying out loud, go get a good sweat on today, tackle something that you need to work on -- I am going to work on double unders!   *peace out!*