2014....it's been way too long!

Well, it has truly been an interesting year, to say the least.  Without going into a lot of detail I learned a lot ...whew I am so glad that those lessons are done with! I know that you are curious -- curiosity always killed the cat - you know.  However, I will share, I have nothing to hide, besides it is the life of a blogger.  Let me put it this way, it had to do with a TON OF STRESS, some put upon by ourselves for our decisions and what others had dumped on us...but we learned -- MOVING ON!  No more dumping!!!!!

We moved from Wisconsin back to Michigan then back to Wisconsin. (summed up version)  We are doing amazing here, the kids love the small village that we have moved to, it has 921 people in it  so says the U.S. Census in what 2010.    I am slowly getting used to it and meeting new people.  It is a lot different than Grand Rapids, that is for sure! 

Now for the reason you came back.... Crossfit tracking.

YES, I start tomorrow back up in a new box. Crossfit Appleton; I am so stinking nervous it is surreal.  It's the same kind of nervous that I had when I walked into Crossfit 616, this is a different kind of nervous -- new people nervous, I screwed up my training nervous, and crap, what the heck was I thinking nervous.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE meeting new people, I just have confidence issues.  I am just so nervous as to what other people think, I know....I will get back to the point of not caring again, as I lose more weight, get more muscles, I know it all goes together.  Being in a village it's hard to make friends, it really is.  I feel that I put it upon myself.  I have really high walls and I don't expect people to climb in -- because they don't care, but it's because the walls are super high.  Thus the reason they are there.  eh...that is for a different post, but my wall have come down a lot lately.  People aren't all bad, hell, I am human, I have my flaws!   *sigh*  ANYWAYS....

I am nervous about walking into another box, aka gym. I know what my abilities are and I have to realize that its been a really long time.  I need to give it time, focus on great nutrition, sleep, and moving my fat rump.  Which brings me too.....

I gained 20 freaking lbs.  I know...hush your mouth.  It could have been more! lol   So, I want to do it for me this time.  I am back at size 24/26.  S.O.B.  (yes....its the swearing not an actual sob)  I know what to do.  I am on it.  Besides no more fat clothes my god, I hate wearing bolts of fabric, there is nothing sexy about any of the plus size clothing -- that is my personal opinion and seriously, it is NOT sexy.  I have been reading the Ketogenic thing and you can cross it with Paleo....so its game on.  I have to watch my carb intake.  My body loves carbs so much, it hangs onto them -- everywhere.  So, I am going to ease off of them and use them for working out/fuel.

Rick and I were talking the other day and I was telling him, that I want to do it for the grand babies.  He responded back with, 'Jen, do it because you want to see the grand babies, you deserve it.' (NO, we don't have any grand babies, but still, I am thinking long term.)  Tears....big ole crocodile tears.  It smacked me in the head that I haven't done this for me, it was always someone else.  It was for the families sake.  I don't want to have any health related issues and I won't....I am on it.    

Game on......welcome back or welcome to my journey.  I have nothing holding myself back but the thing between my ears.

Sorry for the thoughts all over the place, I just have a lot to share and I am getting my 'blogging bearings back' my bbb. ;)